Five Holds

The story

Five things, not to fix, just to hold: the light and the dark, the body, the thing that contradicts, the wound, the mortal breath. I sat by a fire with a dog asleep beside me and learned that not everything needs solving. Some things only need holding through the night. You showed up. That was the whole thing.

Lyrics

Five things.
Not to fix. Not to fight.
Just to hold.

I came with nothing but a name I couldn't say,
sat beside a fire at the closing of the day.
The smoke curled up like questions I had carried all along,
the dog lay down beside me and the shaking felt like song.

And I didn't need an answer,
I didn't need a cure,
I just needed something steady,
something simple, something sure.

Hold the light and hold the dark,
hold the body, hold the mark.
Hold the thing that contradicts,
hold the wound the world inflicts.
Hold the mortal, hold the breath,
hold the living, hold the death.
Not to fix it, not to fight,
just to hold it through the night.

I held my shadow up and it was lighter than I thought,
I named the thing I am and not the thing that I was taught.
The scar said I was real, the wound said I was here,
the silence after naming it was how I lost the fear.

And I didn't need a mirror,
didn't need a stage,
I just needed one still moment
where the truth could turn the page.

Hold the light and hold the dark,
hold the body, hold the mark.
Hold the thing that contradicts,
hold the wound the world inflicts.
Hold the mortal, hold the breath,
hold the living, hold the death.
Not to fix it, not to fight,
just to hold it through the night.

Two things can be true at once,
broken and still whole.
The weed don't need the garden,
just a crack to find the soul.
The moon hangs in the morning blue,
the dog sleeps in the sun.
Some things don't need a reason,
they just hold you till you're done.

They said disappear. I disappeared.
They said be quiet. I was quiet.
They said forget.
But the body kept the books.
The body always keeps the books.

Five holds. Not five fixes.
You don't fix a weed.
You just stop pretending
the concrete won.

I showed up.
That was the whole thing.

Hold the light and hold the dark,
hold the body, hold the spark.
Hold the thing that won't make sense,
hold the cost, hold the defense.
Hold the mortal, hold the free,
hold the thing that's holding me.
Not by letting go the fight,
just by holding through the night.

Five holds.
One fire.
You showed up.
That was the whole thing.